NEVER either praise or blame any person on account of outward actions that are common to all, but on the account of principles. These are the peculiar property of each individual, and the things which make actions good or bad.
EPICTETUS. DISCOURSES. Book iv. §4. ¶5.
IS it not a cruel thing to forbid men to affect those things, which they conceive to agree best with their own natures, and to tend most to their own proper good and benefit? But you seem to want to deny them this liberty, as often as you are angry with them for their sins. For surely they are led unto those sins whatsoever they be, as to their proper good and commodity. But it is not so (that will object perchance). You therefore teach them better, and make it clear to them: but do not be angry with them.
MARCUS AURELIUS. MEDITATIONS. Book vi. 25.
This is really important for me. Before reacting to someone's behaviour, try to understand why they think it is a good way to behave, to understand their motivations. Perhaps, once you understand, you will change your perception. Or perhaps you can teach them that their method to achieving what they want is not going to work (and show them a better way). Or just empathize.
ReplyDeleteUnless a person is broken, a sociopath who is wired incorrectly, they usually have good motives for their actions. They sincerely believe that they are doing the right thing. This applies, especially, to dealing with teens and young adults, instead of being angry teach them why it isn't a "good" thing.
ReplyDeleteA person is influenced by the environment and surroundings that they have been raised in. We cannot control another person and determine how they should react to a situation. All we can do is try to point out the other options that are in a situation and try to steer them into a different action. People usually have the best of intentions but have been coloured by their life circumstances into reacting in a manner that may be hurtful or less than advantageous to society.
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